during my shift last night i decided to go out on the balcony (for no special reason). so i did it.
and i sat there for a while. did nothing special really. i just sat there. breathing. thinking.
and it was nice, i needed it.

a lot of thoughts crossed my mind while i sat there. things like; i dont wanna live this worthless life.
or; i love this life, it couldn't have been more perfect. yeh, you get it.

the only thing i missed and could have needed more than anything was you. just your company.
and your hand, or your arm around me. you would have completed that (almost) perfect moment.
because that's what you do. you complete me. you complete the moments.

i don't even know how long i sat there. i could have been minutes, hours or even days
(obviously not, but you get it ..). it was like time didn't exist. it was like i didn't exist. and i loved it.
i felt like i could do anything.

and then i started crying. for probably a lot of reasons.
but right now i just dont know any of them.

and i wish i could have stayed there, in that moment forever, feeling like i didn't exist.
but i guess i had to come back to reality. because i need you, and i need you to exist. for me. for this.