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i don't know who i am, but i know i'm yours

if i let you go i will regret it for the rest of my life

your words make my day

and i can tell you anything ♥

love is better than life

i don't think i'll sleep tonight. i mean, it's already morning and i'm wide awake after my adventure (and latte) with jerker. and right now i'm making more coffee to be able to stay awake all day. i have an appointment at 11am and after that i have a meeting with my boss, and i don't wanna miss that. and i know that if i fall asleep any time soon there's no chance that i'll wake up in time. so stay awake it is. and coffee, lots of coffee.

michael gercken, i love you.

just smile babe, it lasts longer than tears

when i thought i couldn't be happier, you said you were coming to visit me. i started to think that it was too good to be true. that such a wonderful guy like you would never want a girl like me. you came, and when i first saw you i knew i had found someone worth fighting for. i knew that it would be worth all the heartache, the distance and the insecurities.

yesterday was the time of our lives

all this is just so hard for me. and nothing can do it better.
and i pretend i'm okay, but i'm really not ..

because i love you

put your hand
on my heart
and feel what
i am thinking

don't forget to always kiss me goodnight *

i don't know if i can even write this in words, but i'll do my best.

you know how people say that they make someone's heart race?
you don't just make mine race, you make mine beat faster and slower at the same time.
in this situation, LOVE isn't just what i feel for you, it's what keeps me from wanting anyone else.

darling, you could never disappoint me

.. but i admit that i feel a bit disappointed from time to time. but it's not because of you.
it's because of this whole situation. and the situation is the distance, once again.
and now it just feels like i'm complaining. but i'm really not. to be honest i'm happy.
but you know how it is. because it's the same for you.

and the reason that the situation sometimes disappoints me is because i feel that the time we get
with each other is not enough. it feels like we always miss each other.
i'm here when you're not and yeh, i hate that. and it's hard.
sometimes i don't even want to go out because i don't want to be away the hours we actually get.

and i hate that i feel like i'm in your way. even if you say i'm not. i hate that it feels like you're
forced to be around and talk to me instead of being out and having fun.
and i hate that i need you so much. i want you to do what makes you happy.

but i hate this, and at the same time i love it.

i fucking hate that i can't look at you when i want to, can't touch you when i want to,
can't kiss and cuddle you when i want to. the only thing i can do when i miss you is imagine you here.
and i just feel like thats not enough, and it's not supposed to be. because we're supposed to be close to each other, always.

and just forget this .. i just feel really down right now. and i can't get the words right.
and i just miss you. your hands. your body. your eyes. your voice. just you.

whose hand do you wanna hold?

(ah, my paintskills ♥)

sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

adele - someone like you ♫

♥ someone like you

having that someone that you feel so comfortable with, someone that you let inside your soul, someone that lets you inside theirs, someone to talk to at all hours during the day, someone to laugh with, someone to fall asleep with(out), having someone that is your other half for whatever amount of time you are together, is true beauty and i wouldn't trade it for the world.

- M ♥

let me ask you ..

who is the most beautiful person you know ?

destroy what destroys you

everything that happens in life right now affects me. dreams. thoughts. music i listen to. things i see. things i do. things other people do. and it's not just in a good way.

last night i had a dream about us. it started out perfect, we were happy. but it got worse.
i think we were at a pub somewhere, surrounded by your friends, when a girl suddenly came up to you and told you she'd had a great time with you a few nights before that and that she wanted you to call her if you ever wanted to have fun again. and i didn't know what to do or how to react. you didn't even get the chance to say anything before i walked out of there. i didn't say anything to you. and you didn't follow me. we both knew by then that that was the end of you and me ..

and yes, i know that it was just a bad dream. but i cant stop thinking about it. and that's why 'im weird sometimes, because of things like that. i'm always afraid that it actually will happen. even if i know that you'd never do anything like that to me, or anyone.

why hurt yourself when you can be in love?

i'm forever yours, faithfully

this is not the time or the place for a broken hearted, 'cause this is the end of the rainbow, where no one can be too sad

sunrise avenue - hollywood hills ♫

oh darling, let's be adventurers

during my shift last night i decided to go out on the balcony (for no special reason). so i did it.
and i sat there for a while. did nothing special really. i just sat there. breathing. thinking.
and it was nice, i needed it.

a lot of thoughts crossed my mind while i sat there. things like; i dont wanna live this worthless life.
or; i love this life, it couldn't have been more perfect. yeh, you get it.

the only thing i missed and could have needed more than anything was you. just your company.
and your hand, or your arm around me. you would have completed that (almost) perfect moment.
because that's what you do. you complete me. you complete the moments.

i don't even know how long i sat there. i could have been minutes, hours or even days
(obviously not, but you get it ..).
it was like time didn't exist. it was like i didn't exist. and i loved it.
i felt like i could do anything.

and then i started crying. for probably a lot of reasons.
but right now i just dont know any of them.

and i wish i could have stayed there, in that moment forever, feeling like i didn't exist.
but i guess i had to come back to reality. because i need you, and i need you to exist. for me. for this.

what the hell is wrong with me?

i'm so fucking stupid.

find a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest

.. and that would be right now.

i'm just gonna take a retard-pill and go sleep on the couch,
because right now this bed is too big and too empty for me.

it is the distance that makes life a little hard. two minds that once were close are now so many miles apart. i will not falter, though, i'll hold on till you're home, safely back where you belong and see how our love has grown

okay. i don't know what just happened. but my heart just started beating faster and i could feel the tears running down my face. what happened? to be honest i think i'm afraid. i think i'm afraid that things will change and no longer be as they used to. i think i'm afraid that one day i'll not be good enough for you anymore and you'll find someone better, someone you can be close to whenever you want to.
and i think i'm afraid that we're too different, that we don't want the same things in life,
that i'll be too boring for you and therefore be your second choise.

i don't even know why i'm afraid. and i definitely don't know why i'm thinking about this. i guess i'm just insecure. and i guess it depends on the distance, that i can't see your face, or hear your voice.
i'm afraid and insecure, but i do know i love you. and that i'll fight for us.

i'll wait till the end of time for you

mads langer - you're not alone ♫

my mama told me when i was young: we are all born superstars

i take a part of you with me now and you won't get it back and a part of me will stay here, you can keep it forever, dear

you are the only one that can fix or ruin everything in an instant

it's you. it's always been you.

1:00 am i'm still awake
1:01 am you're in my head
1:02 am i think of your body
1:03 am i smile
1:04 am i try to sleep again
1:20 am you're still in my head
1:30 am get out of my head
1:40 am i still can't sleep
2:00 am i think of your kisses
2:20 am i'm tired
2:40 am you, you, you
2:30 am you're in my heart
3:00 am i finally fall asleep

when i saw you i fell in love and you smiled because you knew.

i dont just want your heart. i want your flesh, your skin and blood and bones, your voice,
your thoughts, your pulse and most of all your fingerprints, everywhere.

i fucking PWN

i did it! i did it! dont know how, but i did it!
and i was sooo sure i would fail it. i pwn. i fucking pwn.

you are the sunshine that makes my day

i'm watching criminal minds, doing some studying, drinking apple-water and wearing my new hat
(yes baby, i've bough a hat). thats my tuesday night. heh. my test is tomorrow at 10.30 and i'm
starting to get really nervous now. and i'm kinda sure i'm gonna fail it.
and right now i miss my baby.

my new baby: lilly of sweden ♥

fuck it. just fuck it.

i really can't find the motivation to study. and my test is on wednesday. yay.
instead of studying have i been cleaning the bathroom and kitchen
and taken care of all my laundry from earlier. i'm so gonna fail the test.
but do you know what? fuck it. just fuck it.

and now it's time for bed. goodnight.

i haven't said it yet, i'm falling

but you make me feel good when it hurts so bad
i'm so glad i've found you, i love being around you

why does everything has to be so damn hard all the time?

i hate this. i fucking hate this. daaaaamn.
fuck everything. fuck this. fuck it!

if i could, then i would

the calling - wherever you will go ♫

pictures of you, pictures of me

family above all. ♥
and nono, we're not retarded at all, heh.

one step closer to the world cup-gold!

watching important matches like this with my hockey-addicted family = 

Czech Republic vs. Sweden
2    -   5

Happieppi \o/

play it loud as fuck and dance to it

i've got shivers all over my body,
(because of swedens awesome goal)
and i feel like doing some serious dancing.
but if i do it right now im gonna faint.
been up since 7:30am and no food = not good.
but fuck it. just fuck it.

Czech Republic vs. Sweden
1    -    2
right now in the world cup semi-final.

distance does not ruin peoples relationships, you dont have to see someone every day to be in love

it's always around 3am i miss you the most ..

i've been trying to sleep for a while now, but it's impossible.
im tired, but i just cant close my eyes and stop staring out in the dark.
i'm waiting for you to kiss me goodnight and put your arm around me.
and it's the same every night. i cant fall asleep without you here. i need you.
i need to hear your snoring, and i need to feel your body touching mine,
i need you to poke me just one more time, and i need you to say "i love you",
i need to see your smile, and i need you to put your hand in my pocket,
i just .. just need you. ♥

there are a lot of people who call you by your name but there is only ONE PERSON who can make it sound so damn SPECIAL

that feeling you get when you see his name appear on your phone ♥

"Alan, you know, one thing you sometimes forget is; no matter how hard your day, no matter how tough your choices, how complex your ethical decisions, you always get to choose what you have for lunch."

i don't know much, to be honest, (big surprise, huh?)
but there's three things im absolutely sure of:

1. i've met person i know that i want to spend the rest of my life with,
2. i hate to be away from him and i miss him like hell every second, every day,
3. and if icould be someone else for just one day i would choose Alan Shore or Denny Crane in "Boston Legal".

- pretty awesome, huh?

i can't take my mind off of you

damien rice - the blower's daughter ♥

it's you and me against the world

right now:
sitting alone at home, watching when happy mothers (and fathers) get to meet their babies for the first time on "one born every minute" at my laptop while some lame program about football, called "football is god" is on at the tv.

without you i'd be lost

it's like an addiction.
and i know, i shouldn't, i always regret it afterwards.
but, to be honest, i don't always know what i'm doing.
sometimes everything becomes black and my thoughts takes over..
my body just .. follows.

all that i am, all that i ever was, is here in your perfect eyes, they are all i can see. i don't know where, confused about how as well, i just know that these things will never change for us at all

snow patrol - chasing cars ♥

confess to me every secret moment, every stolen promise you believe. confess to me all the lies between us, all that lies between you and me

the last goodnight - pictures of you ♥

dont ever fall in love with someone who lives far away. distance hurts more than anything in this world.

things are starting to feel weird.
or maybe it's just me. i am weird.

i love your smile

there's always gonna be that one thing you wished for but never got, that one mistake you can never take back and most of all; that one memory you'd do anything for, just to have again

when i lay with you i could stay here, close my eyes, feel you here forever, you and me together nothing is better

countdown until i get to go home: 3hrs 38 mins. 
the night has been very quiet so far. it's been a few alarms,
but nothing serious and i've done everything i'm supposed to
now i've deserved to be lazy and do nothing at all so now it's tv-time!

puss :*

you're all i've got right now. please take me anywhere but here.

mayday parade - anywhere but here ♥

how can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive?

parachute - she (for liz) ♥

none of that ever seems to matter when i'm holding you

i've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours.
you had me at hello.

is this really happening?

a day to remember - if it means a lot to you ♥

do what makes you happy, be with the person that makes you smile. laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.

okay. it's time for me to get back to work after quite a long time.
really dont feel like going back, but at the same time i think i need it,
and it's just the hours before i start i hate, because as soon as i get there it's alright.
and i guess i really need something else to think of for a few hours.

and, before i forget:
happy b-day mami

i wanna be the one you dream about at night

i think it's bedtime, to be honest.
this day has been kinda awesome.
jerker can really take my mind off things.
i just wish i could share my days with you.


tell me something sweet to get me by

" when i started talking to you i was afraid to meet you,
when i met you i was afraid to kiss you,
when i kissed you i was afraid to love you,
and now that i love you i'm afraid i'll lose you .. "

♥ ♥ ♥

i know you've promised many times. but i just need to hear it again.
promise me we'll make this? because without you i'd be nothing.
i just want to wake up next to your smile every morning,
and fall asleep to your snoring every night.
that's love, if you ask me.
you are love.

michael, jag älskar dig. ♥

dance the night awaaaaaaay

right now my private diary is more like a guestbook, haha.
the jerk is here and we're drinking wine, eating crisps and watching the hockey.
and yeah, painting ugly pictures/writing retarded stuff in my diary.
and listening to lots and lots of music, the most important thing!

and, he's also paiting he's nails and calls them "hookernails" heh.
we're definitely not retarded, nono.

and hun, maybe i'll dance for you later. haha.

i can't help myself from looking for you

adele - set fire to the rain ♥

being sad with the right people is better than being happy with the wrong ones

i feel like there's so much i need to say.
but tonight im just gonna say; fuck it.

all i have is a picture in a frame

"with you is where i'd rather be
but we're stuck where we are
and it's so hard, it's so far
this long distance is killing me

i wish that you were here with me
but we're stuck where we are
and it's so hard, it's so far
this long distance is killing me"

Brandy - Long distance ♥

love never fails

you complete me ♥

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