darling, you could never disappoint me

.. but i admit that i feel a bit disappointed from time to time. but it's not because of you.
it's because of this whole situation. and the situation is the distance, once again.
and now it just feels like i'm complaining. but i'm really not. to be honest i'm happy.
but you know how it is. because it's the same for you.

and the reason that the situation sometimes disappoints me is because i feel that the time we get
with each other is not enough. it feels like we always miss each other.
i'm here when you're not and yeh, i hate that. and it's hard.
sometimes i don't even want to go out because i don't want to be away the hours we actually get.

and i hate that i feel like i'm in your way. even if you say i'm not. i hate that it feels like you're
forced to be around and talk to me instead of being out and having fun.
and i hate that i need you so much. i want you to do what makes you happy.

but i hate this, and at the same time i love it.

i fucking hate that i can't look at you when i want to, can't touch you when i want to,
can't kiss and cuddle you when i want to. the only thing i can do when i miss you is imagine you here.
and i just feel like thats not enough, and it's not supposed to be. because we're supposed to be close to each other, always.

and just forget this .. i just feel really down right now. and i can't get the words right.
and i just miss you. your hands. your body. your eyes. your voice. just you.


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